party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
two words: eviction party
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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