just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
