I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
