becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
