I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
