He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
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you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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