you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
