so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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