I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
