so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
