I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
