i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the day after is always just damage control
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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