she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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