Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
