I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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