google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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