Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
