Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
this just has baby written all over it
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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