I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
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i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize