we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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