I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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