Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
