I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
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I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
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He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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