guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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