I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
