I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
