I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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