I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
