so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
