did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
