areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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