did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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