I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We are two peas in an std pod
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
