He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The Olympian is in my bed
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
