I hope mine doesn't look like that
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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