I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Shame is for Republicans.
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