Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
