Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
