if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
