Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
