I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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