Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize