Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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