I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
