Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
