Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
