I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
