She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
