Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
this is an emotional support booty call
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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