I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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