you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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