I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
