as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
