careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize