hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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