Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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