The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just high enough for therapy.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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