I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
