Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
