i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Randomize
