Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
