spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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