I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
