So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize