i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i think i have herpe
just one?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
